VirtuaLife

i hate getting presents. i hate receiving complements. i hate it when people do nice things to me, not because i don’t appreciate it, but because i’m so CRAP at reacting appropriately. i’ve been trying to change, and I think I’m getting better, but i’m still not quite there yet.

To flip the situation on its head, i love giving presents! especially to those people who are really significant to me. i make that demarcation because there’s a big difference in the amount of time i put into getting a present for a person i merely know as opposed to a friend, a companion who has shared many steps and many breaths walking down the same roads in life.

i had to get orangey a present, recently. it was a pretty big thing – her 21st, no less – so i had a decent budget for a present. I wanted to make it special because like the other friends i hold in high esteem, she pretty much poked me into her world (who was the proactive one, here?) and invited me tag along as she pranced about doing her things (which she does quite well!). i didn’t want a ‘normal’ present and experience told me that I’m horrible at estimating clothes sizes, so it came down to cosmetics. uh huh.

it had to be pretty exclusive, because where orangey works she can get her hands on basically anything that comes through a retail channel. it had to be upmarket and desirable with just a hint of celebrity. it needed to be a fresh idea. brilliant! i could now define the essence of what I wanted to get her. Now, if only i knew what shape it would take!!!

fortune found me several days later reading a fashion magazine when I chanced across something that fit the description perfectly. i checked, double checked, read some reviews, browsed the product on the internet, read more reviews, tried to imagine orangey using it... yes, all seemed good so far. then i drove halfway across brisbane to only one of two local stockists.. to find that they had sold out. aaargh! temporary setback; one week later i was back on course with the pressie.

the sweetest thing? when I gave it to her. I was too shy to get her to open it in front of me, but the reaction I got over the phone was suitable enough.



just the reaction itself is addictive!!! i’d get her another present right away if she sent me another txt like that!! =D

it’s nice… nice to have your effort appreciated.

“wow, you really like staying at home, don’t you?”
sarah, when I told her about my awesome weekend gardening feats.

you’ve got to feel the sarcasm inherent in that statement. I’m 24 years old, single, newly graduated, and if you asked me what i like, i would respond without a moment of hesitation that my passions are 1) houses; 2) creating nice gardens, and; 3) cooking. hmmmmm! that was 1 month ago. incredibly, though i’d registered the sarcasm, it took a little while for the actual ramifications to sink in. and when they did,… well, hahaha, i was one sheepish teddy. lemme explain…

before i came to love gardening, houses and cooking, they were an anathema to me. they wasted my time, my energy and my effort. i have to be ordered – and sometimes, literally dragged – out of the chair in front of my computer to perform such menial work as mowing, throwing the rubbish, or helping to prepare dinner. disgusting! yet, over the last 18 months, i’ve come to enjoy these things for what they stand for – independence, wealth, establishment, and order. good things, right?


(the house&garden, 6 months ago. antithesis of independence, wealth, establishment, and order...)

only, one must remember that too much of a good thing can kill you, or, more applicably, that balance must be maintained for the system to be in ‘harmony’. and let me tell you, when one is 24, single, potentially looking and just into a job, doing ALL these things in your past-time does not give you a lot to talk about with a prospective audience! gahhhh =__=

i had the opportunity to leaf through some of my blogging history as well as other memorabilia from the older days (around 2002-2006). As i did, it became apparent how much i had changed and why, now more than ever, i’m finding it hard to meet my social objectives. here, i’ve identified three relational barriers that seem to have crept up on me.

1) i don’t care about my appearance. although i’m tuned to my physique, I’ve alienated the fashion and self-pride component (i blame that as an ongoing backlash from my metro days). i mean, i don’t care what i wear, or if it matches, or how it fits… i’d taken the motto ‘anything goes’, ridden it too far, then beat it into the ground and kept on jumping on it long past it’s use-by date. Unfortunately, while guys generally don’t mind, girls do notice these things…

2) i have withdrawn. my curiosity isn’t outwardly directed anymore. i ask the questions inside and find answers indirectly. although that helps me synthesize my thoughts better, it doesn’t exactly make for engaging table talk. oh, granted there have been times i’ve done otherwise – thinking namely of queenie, louisa, orangey, ray and cathy – but those times are now few and far between, whereas they used to be de rigeur.

3 i’m prejudging people. it happens instinctively in most people, but normally there is a kill-switch of sorts that can retard the input. for me, i seem to have lost that switch. and i figured out the greatest source of my frustration is that, the girls i really like, i am inclined to instinctively reject!!! (because of certain stereotypes) aiyah…

those three things change today. well, they changed as of last week, once i realised what i was doing to myself. And what was I doing to myself? hmmm, i guess you could say it was a very abstract, yet functional suicide. Or, given that without a girl I can’t do certain things, maybe genocide. hahaha ^^ i will still like my gardens, houses and cooking, but they are now second to the ME; the self-investment that needs to be secured before all other things can be added onto it.

"where do you see yourself in 10 years' time?" orangey asks me. we all laugh ^^

funny for our context (she was interrogating me about girls) but a question that rings so true. we speak of ambition, and as far as i can discern, my ambitions are a few sizes to big for my boots. but i don't want to dwell on what should be; that would be jumping the gun. instead, let me talk about what is.

2009 was my graduation year. 2 days after graduation was held, i was already overseas on other commitments. miraculously, i managed to secure a job with an old acquaintance, a dutch physiotherapist with whom i'd performed a significant amount of placement in previous years. despite the lengthy gap between my interview and my available time (almost 3 months) she decided to accept me. Not the best job in the world in terms of specifications, hours, pay, etc., but it was 5 minutes down the road from me, a wealth of familiar faces and, dareisay, a decent environment to start working.

strike rate for job application was 50% (applied two jobs, was accepted for one)

in march 2010, one month after commencing work with the dutch physiotherapist, i was offered a contract position with a doctors' practice, far to the south of brisbane. i didn't realy like what the job entailled, and the position was even less attractive but the margins seemed quite high and it seemed to be invaluable in giving me the experience to eventually set up my own clinic. walked in, had the interview, and after fumbling with papers for over a month (their fault, not mine) i was in. still am in, in fact. but looking to wrap this one up, soon.

two more job offers came along, one of which which was rather out of the blue. just last month i was approached by a friend and advised that a space had opened up at his work. i was encouraged to apply. without thinking too much on it, i did apply, and before i could even think of the consequences of what i did (remember i am holding two jobs at this point, yeah?) i was having a phone interview. oops! Even more dismaying was that this job.. price, time, education, personality-wise, seemed to be exactly everything i was after. and more! the agongy of refusing the job! but i had to. however silly i get, i will not make the mistake of biting off more than i can chew, again.

one final offer that is current as of today is a physio instructor position opening up in central brisbane. the clinic takes alot of athletes, dancers, and other people in their prime as well as the regular gamut of DVA, post-hospital, and etc. i got name-dropped the australian athletes/teams that go to this studio and needless to say my mouth DROPPED. impressive! the place is upbeat, staffed by youngish people, and funky. i really like it! this is my prospective replacement when i wrap up the contract physiotherapy.

in terms of meeting my working criteria, i'm currently lagging behind what i anticipated. my earnings goal by the end of the year is 75K/year while doing no more than 50 hours per week, or 65K/year with 10K professional development. i need the money to fund my further job(s diversification)!

so, the good... no, the GREAT thing about my life is the immense amount of job security. employment has never been hard, merely umm, tedious? haha. but the bad thing is, i'm not meeting my targets.

perhaps... perhaps it's time to upgrade job lane to job street =)

after much delay and a bit of bitchiness (on my behalf) i finally got to touch base with shunny, up from Sydney as she was. what a beautiful, lovely girl!

she's just awesome to be around. hence the bitchiness, i guess; where i'd be happy to let other people forget about our appointments and brush myself clean of their... their time wastage?... with shun i felt like i was the one making a loss! meeeeee? rejected? hahaha... you get the idea. I was bordering on socially-induced apoplexy. so I sent off a rather snappy email - tsk tsk, anger - and then just as i was leaving from work last night, got a sheepish reply from her. yay! so i wasn't relegated to dustbin status; not ignored, merely forgotten. wait, is that an improvement at all???

we went to portside@hamilton, to sip on mugs of hot chocolate while immersing ourselves in the casual sophistication sported by other diners and the surrounds. stopping to enquire at a few places, a waiter (can't remember the restaurant name) finally led us to a moodily ambient bar with sevaral tiny alcoves - perfect for a semi-private catch-up. the hot chocolate was great, seeing her was fantastic and hearing what's been happening over the last several months was... wow and waaah in equal proportion ^^. but i'd have to kill you if i told you what we talked about. right?

i love how she thinks. she's completely 'girl', yet with a strong head and a steely determination that many others seem to lack. sure, she has an ice-cream fetish (we were able to walk past movenpick without her blinking, surprisingly) and is about as indecisive as any other girly out there (hehehe sorry shun :)), but that's completely forgivable in her sweet disposition, her sincerity, her openness. can you tell that i respect her? this is the sort of girl i'd drive halfway across town to see, open doors for, plan something impressive, go that extra step to please. i hold it to (all) her boyfriend(s) to do the same! Haha =)

i say this, and yet i think of the very, VERY first time i even noticed her... this quiet tooth fairy who was sitting at the other end of the table surrounded by presumed boyfriends (i later found out that was her brother... oops) who stared at me with sharp, piercing eyes as i goofed around with xhijie and made lots of lame jokes. i would not have even thought of keeping in touch had she not asked for my facebook! or was it msn?? and, even then, i was reluctant to give it to her! who was this little miss tooth fairy, who didn't say much then suddenly asked for MY details. a bit scary, hey? ahhhh! of course, in retrospect, i had no such qualms about giving it out. haha. and even today, I thank God i can call her a friend. there's a special strength in proper friendship.

in this new chapter of my life, with the steady and increasing grind of work, a plague of financial commitments, personal woes, and a plethora of small, antsy annoyances, there should always be time to stop and smell the roses. or, taste the chocolate. thanks, shunny. last night, you were my chocolate ^^

(but don't worry, you don't make me fat)

"The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one."

i guess i'm one of those lucky people who, when it comes to jobs, gets what i want. within reason of course; i can't exactly see myself applying or a CEO position at the moment and being successful for it! no, but for jobs within my scope, in-demand jobs, jobs that i WANT... my strike rate has generally been pretty good. It is God's hand on my life, truly; and made possible because I dared to dream of this security as a blessing unto others.

Even as the memories fade, I'd like to take a trip down memory lane and pay a tribute to the jobs that were, that defined me. The interesting jobs,the silly jobs! And other notables in-between.

1999 (12 years old) - being the fat tub of icecream that i was, i got conned by by sister into delivering leaflets for the local news distribution. pay was a glorious 6 cents per household. or was it 4 cents! Yukkk! do the math, there. I'm not even sure if 6 cents of food gave me enough energy to walk between each house! if it didn't then, well, i guess the weight loss objective was always a safe one. i did that for 3-4 months, until i gave up folding leaflets and walking with a stupid raincoat on the dodgy delivery days.

2001 netted my first real job. after being rejected by Coles to work in their stocking aisles (apparently i was too slow on the visual recognition test - i call that a load of bull!) i went for a spin with Dick Smith Electronics. got offered a job at Bunnings warehouse, too, and had to make a choice between them. i sided with air-conditioning. for that choice, i paid the consequences for 6 years. well, i got paid, rather, and this time earning significant amounts. i really relished the period of 2004-2005 where i was basically working at doublt time all the time... 3-5 hours of work per week would net me about $120-200. now that was SWEET. made me rather lax, unfortunately.

2004 I also had a contract as a database analyst and market researcher with Smorgan Steel. glorified telemarketing role, really, but it was scarily autonomous. i had my job description, got given a desk, endless supply of coffee, stationery and free roam of the compound. and $18 per hour. not bad for a still-17 years old tyke who hardly knew what he was doing. i rmemeber some of the workers offering to take me out (some were motorbike enthusiasts and others liked... THOSE clubs) I finished my work brief in 2 weeks that they'd allocated me for 6 weeks so they had to scramble for more work. Damn, i was an honest bloke back in those days... didn't even think to lengthen my working time =P

2006-08 saw a whole plethora of jobs fall on my head, with 100% strike rate in all of them. I was getting pretty deep into physio at theis time so the nature of the jobs became more focussed. In no particular order, i started sports training as a L1 trainer, did a stint of mystery shopping (and found out kat was doing the same thing as me! arghh) worked with the AUS govt's after-school care program as a children's educator, was a university tutor, followed a football team for a whole season as the not-yet-physiotherapist, became admin for the (UQ) university's biggest library (as well as the more mundane of shelving books), worked as a statistics compiler with a uni professor, and did volunteer work at greenslopes hospital and workplace helath and safety queensland. wah! i still feel so touched looking back at that list. and i will still never know why i was accepted so quickly into some of these jobs, despite my relative ignorance of the required skills... which is why I give this period as a testament to God's work in my life at this point. Any job I wanted, i could have...

well, okay, now i remember one job that i did not get. it was to be the day spa manager and client servicer for a 5-star hotel based in the city. i applied too late (the position was already filled) and they never got back to me about further vacancies. maybe that was God's way of saying to me to keep my eyes off all the cute girls coming through O.o I've always maintained, without substantive evidence, that God has always been a bit wary of my predisposition towards girls. Hey, if I were God i would be too! now... what am I saying...

for the 2009 period I was, for the first time since 13 years old. jobless. I killed dick smith (6 years service!), let go of sports training, wrapped up my contracts with uni, shelved mystery shopping, and ... the list goes on. many friends jumped into that boat... i think kat gave up her job as well, sarah stopped working at the bookstore, quite a few physio students killed their income stream to concentrate on studies. i lasted 12 months whittling away at all the black (about 7K + 1k government stimulus grant) in my bank and ended up with a mere $32 in my account after paying off the post-holiday credit card debt! arrrr.

updates on the current job situation next time ^^

meeting up with jess this thursday (yepp, that's right, the scantylicious time till tomorrow!) to go over more of the storyline for her little fetish movie. am getting rather scared on whether she actually knows how to direct a movie... >.< as many peeps who know me would attest, i'm a skittish person at the best of times. not exactly the best trait in acting. and especially not with someone who has only a vague idea of what they're doing! arrr! i hope there's no passionate scenes because i can just forsee myself ruining it. oh dear. but, on the positive side, i finally get to use the skills i learn at the O'Grady drama academy. that's gotta be a plus. and maybe my fellow asian actresses will be hawttt! that would mitigate my concerns, somewhat =)

which reminds me, helen's present still needs to be wrapped. why am i so haphazard! chased the present halfway around town just to get my hands on it, then left it on the table unwrapped for over a week. sizzle was right, i am truly, personally disorganized. glahhh.

mmm, I guess this whole blogging thing just... isn't me. I can't sustain it ^^

still, every now and again it's worth the time and effort of typing to pen out my thoughts, make them just that little more digestable, or to sort out something that I didn't really understand in the first place.

so i'm bringing my work online. Coz work... work has to be worth alot, right???

last few months have been pretty busy. after starting at mitchelton it took me about 6-8 weeks to settle into the routine, and somewhere in there I also picked up Annie's job at greenbank! greenbank is not yielding the margins it promised, and i dislike the long drive out. which brought me to a third job with advantage, charles' workplace. a very nice outfit, and something i'd seriously consider doing, but they want me full-time, and because of mitchelton, i cannot commit. aargh.

today i applied for another job with studiopilates international, which is looking for physios. they're offering the profesisonal training which will be fantastic for my ongoing professional development, and the guy seemed to like me over the phone at least (he called back within 2-3 hours isn't that nice???). am really considering going in to check out the place. maybe this will be the golden key that fits with mitchelton for the next 1-2 years. fingers crossed!