VirtuaLife

By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going. By faith he made his home in the promised land like a stranger in a foreign country; he lived in tents, as did Isaac and Jacob, who were heirs with him of the same promise. For he was looking forward to the city with foundations, whose architect and builder is God.
Hebrews 11:8-10

I think I understand my life a little bit better, now.

I’ve never really fit in anywhere; I never really felt like there was a place or a group of people I could consider myself to belong to. For all that I live and breathe Australia, I hate the youth culture, the violence, the sexual liberalism, the arrogance of our status. Singapore has been a war waged with words and actions on and off for over the past decade. And Philippines might have captured my heart and sympathies, but it owns me no more than I can claim to understand it.

I’ve argued with countless Christians, both strong and wayward, who see my own actions as questionable. I’ve evaluated both logically and also emotionally myself, wondering whether I’m living a dream that I’ll never wake up from. Sometimes, I’ve cried to God, because I feel like I’m walking blind in a fog that’s sure to see me tripped before I reach my destination. But, in all of this, I have never thought to question God.

I had a dream for God’s Kingdom. I have two prophecies, independent of each other but reinforced in their content, that affirm my dream. I don’t know exactly what I need to do to achieve it, but I do know that I need to do something. I’m doing those things right now, the foundational things, and some of that is being frowned upon by the Church. But let God see my heart and judge me on that.

All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth. People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. Instead, they were longing for a better country—a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them.
Hebrews 11:13-16

At least I now remember that I’m not 'really' alone. Thank you God, for reminding me what I should always have held dear. That you would never have deserted me.