VirtuaLife

Woke up at 3:45AM. Checked the clock. Less than two hours sleep; the realisation made my joints groan and my eyes close again with disbelief. But I pulled myself out of bed and swept into the house, stumbling around like a drunk skittle while trying to find my camera, apples, nad clothes (not in that order).
We were going to see the sun rise!



I am a fan of the transitions, of dusk and dawn. To watch the sky, painted as a canvas in a multitude of hues over several beautiful minutes, is the beginning of understanding change as an amazing and life-bearing force. To witness the drowsy stirrings of the morning birds even as the first pulsing rays chart their path along the grounds, is contentment. At times, the world runs like clockwork, yet its citizens, snared safe in their cozy blankets, never fathom its workings.

The languid pace of dawn on the beach also lends itself well to the reflective mind. More than once I wondered whether inviting others to accompany my life would result in a shattering of the harmony, a breaking of the peace that I have found over the years. Thankfully it did not. The girlies were able to enjoy themselves, snapping pictures and chirping away while I lost myself in two worlds of unashamed beauty and magnificence. The world my God has created, and the world in my mind.



Fantasy is a dangerous drug. The world we know is one where every action has a reaction, and every choice carries a consequence. Where lives are broken again and again over issues of trust, or wayward emotions, or reckless actions. But the world in my mind entertains a Hollywood kind of pain, a transient pain that lasts only long enough to be dramatic and not malicious. In my mind, I have my future, my dreams, and my goals laid out like the many faces of a diamond, with me gazing out from within.

Some of those faces are pure and true. Endorsed, they shall shine well into the future beyond any doubt of reason. Other faces, I wonder whether they have become tainted with the malingering bitterness and egocentrism so typical of this world. I hope not.

Because among the faces unspoken for, is me. Who I WILL become in time to come? And because, somewhere in there there is my girl. MY girl.

I look at the sun again, which has thrown off its bedsheets with vigour and is climbing an invisible ladder to take its throne in the sky. Shine, baby. Just shine.

Last night a group of us went to watch transformers. It was such an interesting night!

I learned my first lesson when arranging group movies; movie times DON’T stay the same week-to-week. Which resulted in my mad SMS scramble to rearrange everyone at the last minute. Sadly, had to deny Jon dinner rights for the night due to the re-organisation. Sorry mate! Will make it up to you. Next movie night is just around the corner.

I also learned how chubby my legs have become since I stopped regular running. I squeezed into my black mustangs which were only bought about 2 months ago... with squeezed as the operative word. Aiyah. And to think I’ve been deceiving myself looking into the mirror to assess the side profile of my tummy. 2D analysis lies! It’s time to get more specific with the pinch tests. Didn’t I say I was going to practise them on Yugo?

Mooi also brought a friend along for the night. Yay! I love new faces, and May seemed like a nice person. Not that one gets to talk alot in movies? Outreach is not about the obligation of bringing people to an understanding of God through the physical church or Christian-dominant meetings, it IS about the desire of showing your life to them as a testimony of what God has done and can do. New faces are amazing lives to me, unique people with unique experiences and ways of understanding the world. And each and every one loved so dearly by God. I will never tire of seeing new faces.

The movie itself. It surpassed my expectations primarily because I had none, apart from wondering how much CGI the developers had to use to transform $5.99 Kmart toys into a movie blockbuster that captivates the 20-somethings. But it was a great movie! Not because of its narrative ability (very little), or Megan’s cute butt cheeks – you know, that pose of her on the motorcycle is bad for her back ah. Nah, I loved the ‘nobility’ of Optimus Prime, which made me feel all cozy in a tiny grand-kid kinda way. There was al ump in my heart when he got ... ummm, compromised (dun wanna spoil it for those who haven’t watched)? And the transforming and fighting scenes were tight and kept you dialled into the action. Lastly, I love it coz it is the third movie in recent times (after Cars and Wall-E) which has – I believe – escalated the art of personifying inanimate objects. Like Bumblebee crying? Pure class. And the ever-arguing, ever funny twins? Amazing. The combination of humor, action, and an otherworldly-but-not-so-cliche setting were a potent combination. Recommended.

As the lucky (or unlucky, depending on perspective) guy among four girlies, I took the opportunity to dial back my script and absorb their chatter. Four girls, four different walks of life. And despite their uniqueness, there were subtle parallels between the way they acted, and what they looked for in the conversation. Sigh. My gender radar feels so broken – it’s hard to psychoanalyse peeps at the moment. I wonder how that happened?

Last reflection. Most people in a social context look for affirmation of the things they say and do. I guess this is where I alienate myself! For most people I know reasonably well, I’ve already decided what image I want to portray long before the conversation. When I talk to people or do things in front of them, I’ve already pre-empted their reactions based on what I know of them through their body language, reactions and history. Satisfaction for ME in a social context comes from accurately predicting peoples’ reactions, whether they are positive or negative. It demonstrates to me that my model is working =). Kette showed me the other night though how wrong I could be, and we had a bit of an awkward moment over the phone. Ahh, some humble pie to remind me that probability will never equate with truth.

Thank you, God ^^.