I haven’t always been patient. There was a time when I used to make other people’s problems my own for the sake of achieving that ‘perfect world’. In some ways (although no where near as consistently) I still lapse back into this old mode of thinking. I was pretty pleased with myself for beginning to develop patience.
Lately though, I’ve begun to appreciate how… facile… this understanding is.
One of my friends always runs late for his appointments. Sometimes I am over at his house and he asks me to tag along with him. I find it hilarious how, for every minute after his planned departure (to the appointment destination), he begins to move more and more frantically, yet he doesn’t seem to prepare any faster. I could wait for him for hours and not feel fussed. Is that called patience?
Some of the boys at my old church used to have get-togethers where the inevitable topic of relationships would surface. Every time (or thereabouts) it was the same old story, someone had done a booboo that needed attention or fixing. Of course, the issue never got truly fixed… unless you count the three or four weeks of non-reporting in between as a good thing. And me? I was a badly dressed, introverted 14 year old guy who called these blokes (median age 20) my friends despite their incompetence. I never took them up on the issue, either. Was I patient?
A rolling debate about feminism leaves me at odds with many girls (not mine, though) who believe it is their ‘right’ to make boys wait for them, especially when getting ready for outings, etc. With interest areas in psychology, relationships and culture, I am both fascinated and horrified at a mainstream attitude that in reality is an emotional and spiritual dead-end. Yet, I’m quite happy to let it sit with these girls (and some guys). Once again, I ask the question: Is this patience?
Perhaps it is. But perhaps patience is much, much more.
You see, tolerating incompetence has no intrinsic cost to self if it doesn’t affect you. In all three above instances I was aware of incompetence, but this had no effect on my interaction with the involved parties. I’d already budgeted extra time to muck around with so it wasn’t costing me anything I hadn’t expected. If something does not have an identifiable cost, then it’s reasonable to assume that it will have a negligible effect on the way that I function. Hence, there is no reason on my behalf to spit sticks and feel all narky in general.
Patience is more than that. Patience is biting your tongue when people do something that affects you negatively. It’s about learning to smile with your heart – not just your mouth - when you know it’s only going to be poked and prodded. It’s about… offering someone your left cheek when they have just struck at the right, and doing it with a heart of love (Matthew 5:39).
A snail crossing... if you were in a rush for a big meeting would you wait for something as miniscule as a snail to cross, or would you drive straight over it?
Didn’t think about it that way, did you? Aha! Don’t worry. Until a week ago, I didn’t either *gringrin* Just as a side note, I really, really love taking clichéd, overused and undervalued Bible verses to expose their true meaning… that is how the Bible is meant to be read.
Patience. Do you have it? I thought I did, in parts. I used to wonder why I could be as patient as a rock in some situations and as fiery as a matchstick in others. Well, now I wonder no longer. I’m going to take patience to the next level. And I hope you guys will join me.
In Faith, Hope and Love!
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