VirtuaLife

Sometimes I wish I could... happen to myself.

Imagine Theodore meeting Theodore. I don't think it would be a pretty confrontation! I mean, put into a tiny room two stubborn egos that think they know alot more than they deserve to with enough general knowledge to hold up a convincing facade, two minds that are cynical to the core and engage in multi-front psychological warfare over a casual dinner date and what will you get? Probably... a mess that's very hard to clean up?

I look back at the post that made me stop blogging. I remember the incident... vaguely. It struck my mind more than once how FULL of myself I must have been at that very moment to have proferred such a violent and in many ways undeserved rebuke of the people involved. I feel embarrassed, a touch frustrated and overwhelmingly silly that, despite my whole 'relationships' drive, that I can still flare up in the heat of the moment. Yes God, I still don't deserve my girlfriend :[.

But I'd be foolish to let this be my stumbling block. life is full of many errors that decorates our journey like trash on the footpath. But we do not stop walking, do we? It is only an obstacle should we choose to make it. To draw the metaphor further, if indeed we were concerned citizens, we would probably pick up the rubbish and place it where it belongs.

God called me about two weeks ago to, in my words, stop feeling sorry for myself and start serving Him again. Who knows that when God calls its hard to ignore? I thought about it at worked, masticated it during dinner, and even slept on it throughout the night. Peace only came (in the sense that I felt I was flowing with my thoughts rather than against it) when I actually did something about it.

That God is willing to use me despite my many sins, I feel honoured. Something I do less well is to feel humbled, but that, like the rest of my life, is something I am excitedly anticipating change in.

In Faith, Hope and Love