VirtuaLife

So I was zipping along the Pacific Motorway tonight after an interesting talk with Yang and Sarah when I chanced upon yet more roadwork. It’s been a horrible day for that, everywhere I went seemed to have a lane closed (Inner City Bypass), or roads being resurfaced (Sunnybank) or random witches hats seemingly protecting nothing (Morningside).

Anyway, so I see the roadwork sign, and slow down to the required 80km/h. I see blue flashing lights in the distance. Police often park their cars on the road to ‘threaten’ motorists into obeying. It’s a crude form of discipline, the principle of which I don’t approve, but it does work. Sometimes too effectively…

And what makes me say that? Take this case in point. I slow to 80km/h, but the car ahead is slowing below 80, below 75, below 70… I watch the dirty, rain-splotched bumper getting closer and closer to me until I pull into the right hand lane and overtake. Silly motorist being scared of being booked and so goes WELL under the speed limit. Talk about traffic impediments. Grr.

Look ahead. Another sign. The right-most lane is closed. Bummer… Gotta merge back again. I merge without difficulty since the other car is doing something like 50km/h and I have a nice margin. Easy.

Look ahead again. Strip of white on the road. No, not on. Above. Above? Moving. Waving… a light. Ouh. Police. Signalling me. To pull into the closed lane. I was a bit slow to react and almost ran over the cop (hehehe…oops *embarrassed*) because I was trying to work out why a cop would pull me to the right (which is principally dangerous since stopping bays are on the left but that would require me to cut across another lane of traffic). I pull over between the witches hats, wind the window down and wonder why a cop would want to talk to a nice guy like me.



- - - Begin account - - -

Cop (walking over slowly): Hello.

Me (grinning about God-knows-what): Hello! How are you?

Cop: Good. Hmm. (silence)

Me (default salesperson mode): Can I help you?

Cop: Can you turn down the music please?

I glance at the radio which is thumping out some suddenly-very-stupid-sounding techno music. I fumble for the button, get my finger jammed in the cassette deck player instead and it’s about 5 seconds before I can dislodge and find the right button. I turn back to him: Oops! Sorry. (sheepish)

At this point I think he was a bit iffy about me – I could see it on his face. Who wouldn’t be? I think I would be dubious about me if I happened to be a cop pulling myself up. At least he didn’t laugh at me, which I would have.

Cop: Do you know why I waved you to stop?

At this point the little donut in my head started processing with the food-fuel from dinner and made a few chilling connections. Roadwork. Sign. Slow car. Flashing lights. Uh-oh. My hands, if they weren’t cold before, were positively frosty now.

Me: Ummm. Ahhhh. I saw an 80km/h sign some way back and thought I slowed down… but I must have sped up again when overtaking? (another sheepish grin, but with worried eyebrows this time)

Cop. Hmm. You were doing 80km/h. But there were actually two more signs, two signs with 60km/h about 100m after that sign.

Me: (blinkblink?) Inside I’m beginning to get very worried but by virtue of the spreading frost from my digital region the smile is now frozen on my face. The stupid signs must have been just as I overtook that othe car, hence I didn’t see them. Arghhhh…

Cop: Can I see your licence, please?

I fish my wallet out of my pocket and give it to the cop.

Cop: … That’s your mobile.

Me: Ouh! Hahaha… err.. sorry. (rummages around in footwell, find the wallet wedged into the far corner and beep the horn lightly with my head as I strain to reach for it. I take tmy licence out and give it to him)


hmmm.. not alot of similarity between the two, eh? I must have been a wee bit stressed...

Cop (looking at it for a while): Can you tell me your full name?

Me: THEE-oh-DOOR feh-LIP-aye VIL-lah AB-ree-ILL lim

Cop: That’s pretty complicated name!

Me (lamely): Ehehe… I’m a pretty complicated person?

He steps back from the car, giving me opportunity to massage some life back into my frozen fingers. 20km/h over the limit is three penalty points, a $225 fine and, for P drivers, instantaneous revocation of licence, all very valid points confirmed by Mr. Policeman moments later.

Cop (looking at me severely): You are on open licence right?

Me (meekly): Umm. P… (more awkward silence)

Cop (sighs): Look, I’m going to give you a warning this time, okay. It’s your lucky night tonight. Please try to keep a lookout for more road signs. There’s a lot of them around in this area, and at this time of night.

Me (squeaks with relief, Becky-style): Thank you shoooo much, sir!

Cop: Don’t let me catch you doing it again.

Me: Thank you shoooo much, sir!


Self-impersonation of what I probably looked like after hearing the verdict (now imagine that face staring at you out of a car window)

- - - End of account - - -

LESSON 1: Even good drivers are bad drivers at times

I do take pride in my ability to ‘understand’ the ebb-and-flow of traffic. I can generally differentiate between tourists driving and locals. I can tell which way a person wants to turn or merge before they start signalling (I look at the silhouette of their head inside their car to see what they’re doing). I usually can predict if a driver will be too cautious or aggressive, and place myself on the road accordingly (to avoid being caught up in their mess).

As tonight proved, for everything I know there are things that I also miss. Just like an experienced therapist uses their intuition equally with scientific evaluation to obtain a diagnosis, so I use a set of inbuilt assumptions about human behaviour and road psychology to optimise my driving efficiency. And just like an experienced therapist may not comprehend a rare pathology, so my system also fails me when it comes to identifying ‘tricky’ roads.

LESSON 2: Smile REALLY hard. Your life… or licence… may depend on it

A smile hurts nobody. Being nice is not a crime you can be accused of. I think I was accidentally nice in this case because I didn’t KNOW what I did wrong and by the time I found out the smile was frozen on my face. Did I ever tell people how beautiful they look when they smile? There are few expressions I find more attractive (I just have a poker face for these things so nobody ever knows).

Without too much speculation, it would probably be fair to say my outcome may not have been so favourable had I not smiled… and kept on smiling.

LESSON 3: Learn to love your authorities

I do a lot of car research, having been in the market for a car for a while. A recurring theme is the tendency of many car enthusiasts to rubbish the ‘inadequacies’ of the police. While I do not support some of the regulations coming into effect and I will voice out about them, I would never do so in a way that demeans an officer of the law. These people PROTECT our roads. They protect our lives. And the system they use may be flawed, but innately I want to believe that all cops are motivated by a higher calling of protecting the stability and livelihood of our communities.

I wanted to talk to the cop. You know, ask him how his night was, make a few jokes (I thought he was going to RBT me), that kinda thing. They don’t do an easy job, and it’s nice to make someone feel appreciated… valued.

CONVICTION

Now that all that dispassionate logical reasoning stuff is done, let me share with you a revelation that runs concurrent to these thoughts and empowers them within a greater context.

I was saved from a serious booking offence by God’s imminent mercy!

It has been my prayer since last year that if I was to drive people around, to be the chauffeur, the designated driver, then I would commit in spirit the hearts and minds of every single person who laid bumbum in my car. In essence, I told God this… “Hey Pa, I’ll pay the petrol, I’ll make the conversation, I’ll even go that extra mile (or thirty) to collect another lost sheep. But I need You. I need You to water that seed, to make it grow, to make it whole. I need you to protect me always and forever from the times when I can’t protect myself. I need your tangible and LIVING presence in this car as I carry out Your work.”

God was there.

It has been in my prayer within the last month to be given a mentality that would submit to my authorities. To love and obey, even though I do not agree, and only to run away when something is in direct contravention with God’s law. Just like David did, when Saul was hunting him. I prayed so hard to be able to recognise my authorities, that even in ignorance I might not malign their works.

God gave me that mentality.

It was my prayer today, since the unhappy hour of 6am for God to protect me despite my sleepiness, to inspire me with confidence, to empower me with strength, to protect me with mercy, and shower me with favour, that I may do the works He had planned for me in fullness and with competence, come what may.

Did not God demonstrate His amazing grace?

Under almost any circumstances, a cop will charge a young man who is found speeding behind the wheel. We ARE the danger crowd. I've watched my friends being booked. I've heard of other people being booked. Why was I so blessed?

Tonight I stand (read: sit) convicted that God was watching my road, even though pride made me concentrate on other things. He has always watched my roads. But never so literally as this.

Abba Father… You are the best thing that’s happened to me! (The Best Thing, #2 Oxygen 2001, Avalon)

In Faith, Hope and Love!