I ask the questions that would turn an adolescent crimson-faced, I do things that make the adults among me blush. I have no shame... well, no shame that anyone has managed to tangibly pinpoint. I live to please my Father first, but getting a smile out of everyone else is nice, too. I have energy, and then I have more energy. The world is my oyster(s)... I don't want to stop shucking in case I stumble across a pearl.
And right now I'm playing "I Spy", university style!
Girl sitting opposite me. Caucasian, about 21 years old, in an obvious rush. She logs on, sees something horrible, gasps and swears. Her eyes go all filmy. Rapid mouse-clicking and wheel-spinning ensue. Bad exam results I think. She prints off a few documents that irritate her even more. Sits down too quickly, kicks the table leg. More swearing. Eyes glisten. I hear the words "You are so dead" somewhere in her agitated rambling. Mobile call - she answers within three rings "Oh, hello honey... I'm sweet. And you?" Eventually she leaves, the only part of her obviously not upset being the inanimate folders she is carrying.
How deceived would you feel if this tantalising wafer of fresh honey turned out sour? Would you wish it upon anyone else?
Interesting.
You know, the more private one tries to make a problem, the more public it becomes. Mental and spiritual burdens can have physical manifestations! I recall one of my acquaintances - lets call them X - in Philippines in an obvious state of distress. X had huge panda eyes (not apparent in previous days), was moving all jittery-like, spoke funnily (like chest was constrained) when talking to me, and avoided eye-contact when talking. These were the symptoms I could diagnose, alongside many other smaller cues I was more uncertain about. Not normal, eh? Of course, when I asked X, nothing was wrong.
Later on I found out that something I had said to X was remarkably intimidating and challenging to the way they had been living their life. How did I find out? Despite X's insistence about nothing being wrong, I took the initiative and - with a bit of divine intervention (you think I can hone in on these behaviours so effectively by myself?) - effectively GUESSED the problem, which I laid bare to X. Pending another few days of talking, the problem was resolved.
Sometimes I wonder if acting like this is an indicator of the divorce between a person's perception and their reality. I cannot remember the name of the book that I read, but it essentially said that the distance between your perceptions and the reality of your situation is the measure of discontent that you maintain in your life. What does one stand to gain from perceiving themselves as having-it-all-worked-out when their DAILY LIFE is very obviously dysfunctional (or at the very least, non-optimal)? Peer acceptance? Pride? Success? A defining sense of self-worth?
Search for quotes on Google (term: "reality and perception") and you will find many secular authors deriding the utility of reality. I believe this highlights Humanity's basic struggle against the integral limitations of our human character. It is representative of the wild Lion, captured and placed in a nature reserve in Kenya where it tirelessly paces up and down the boundary, looking for an escape. "I belong in the wild!" its heart roars. But in its passion to escape, it forgets that on the other side of the fence, there are poachers...
People who deny their reality? That's not being imaginative. That's being delusional. And I say that as someone whose imagination is so obsessive-compulsive I often find it nigh-impossible to control. Imagination is a powerful tool for the human mind. And as with any powerful tool, it can be massively abused.
Another girl sitting next to me now. Asian. Maybe 22-23 years old. Wavy black hair, Korean style. But not Korean looks. Pleasant smile. Oops I jinxed her, now she is frowning. Maybe she bombed in her exam too? Her fingernails are painted black with little red images on them... flowers? Nice chin. Shoulders are uneven. Now she's speaking to a passing friend. No accent, must be an ABC. She tells them something is wrong. Friend laughs. So does she. Good. I observe the other people around me for a while but as she gets up to leave, my eyes cast back to her. Nice skirt. Nice shoes. *innocent cough*
"Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away."
Philip K. Dick - "How to Build a Universe That Doesn't Fall Apart Two Days"
Reality? Don't deny it. Even little kids can see through that...
In Faith, Hope and Love!
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