VirtuaLife

An excerpt from my reflections (03.05.08)

I’m in one of my ‘why me?’ moments to God. Last night, when Lemuel was promoting the HBC touch footy event, I was both dismayed and appalled by the lack of response to the event. I’m sorry, but that’s exactly how I felt. A grand total of NOBODY wanted to come for the day. Righteous anger? I was ready to do some smiting by myself, right there and then!

The problem with any group is that its central vision ends up being trumpeted and pushed by a few people, and exploited (unwittingly or otherwise) by the rest. Lack of ownership in a group is the equivalent of building a wonderful house for people to live and grow up in, only to burn it down because someone wants to see how long the infrastructure can sustain a fire.

I nominated myself, anyway, because even though I’d committed to spend the Saturday studying I felt that some exercise couldn’t do me harm, I wanted to scope out HBC and see whether it was something suitable to invite my friends to and I wanted to spend time outdoors admiring God’s creation. So along I went.

Snaps to Cass and Cait for making it along, even though they didn’t participate in the games… their presence brought my anger down (retrospectively) from boiling point to a more controllable simmering. Even though I didn’t talk to them, I was encouraged by their effort (even if it was coincidental) to make it to the day and… well, contribute just by being there. I think people sometimes underestimate the power of physical presence. Not me. Thanks girls; even if nobody else says it, I am grateful and appreciative of you just being there.

As the day droned on, I was also struck by how badly we (the playing people) functioned as a team. In team games, the individual is required to step down in order to let the team shine. I’m not accusing anybody of anything here since this was a social event, but it was interesting to observe how frustrations arose (see my ‘patience’ post!) from a lack of goal-scoring and certain team members began to play more individualistically. God really put a burden on my heart for team relationships (a logical extension from boy-girl relationships?); so much so that, right now, everywhere I look I am overwhelmed by the paucity of unity displayed in teams, and even more so, sometimes by the very people who trumpet it. Hmmm.

Then there was the back (or pelvic) pain. It engulfed me as I was bending over to scoop up the ball to play it on. Felt a little twinge in my back like it was releasing a catch and then this whole wave of pain washed over my back and bumbum. Oh no, not good. In the five seconds it took to stand up, try to pass the ball on, and then spasm with pain again I recalled that this was probably a recurrence from another episode three weeks ago, my first ever of low back pain. I had a bit of a dramatic moment after I assured Jazzy and Joseph I was okay, looking to the sky and rolling my eyes. In my mind I was like, ‘God! I gave up my day to encourage your events explicitly and you let this happen to me? Unsurprisingly, there was no response, unless you call the sun poking out from behind the clouds and radiating me with more UV a response.

Overall, it was an interesting day, with some troubling realisations, one or two convictions, much food for thought, and… a very unfriendly companion of low back pain (LBP) to keep me company, now.

In Faith, Hope and Love!